Am I damaged, Anonymous (15)

I’d appreciate it if anyone can comment on their thoughts on this. I don’t know if I’m damaged. Throughout my life, my dad has been very aggressive and angry. He has hit me on the head, grabbed me, and pushed me back. When I was younger I was having a coughing fit one day. He screamed at me to shut the f*** up. I sat there and sobbed. I was 6. I was sat outside in the garden one day. We were talking and he squashed his thumb in some garden furniture. “That was your fault!” I was 11. I was telling my parents how upset and sad school made me feel. “You have issues, the problem is you.” I was 14. I and my sister were arguing over something silly one day. He stormed into my room and grabbed my wrists, shouting with his teeth in my face, his face turning red and sour. “You’re the problem, I hope you get what you deserve. I’m going to punish you!” He pushes me back as he leans over me, trying to intimidate me. I was 13. I despise my father, I’ve given up trying. I want to die. I want to move out. I’m now 15 and he puts me down every day with small remarks. I think all this has contributed to my undiagnosed mental issues.

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