Am I enough, Anonymous (15)

Even since I was a little kid o always knew that something was wrong with me. But I never knew exactly what. As I got older it started to set. I started to be more sad, tired and isolated. I dont really talk to many people in fear that I'll never be enough for them. I look at myself as garbage since that's all I heard my whole life. My dad has always said thing sthy make it worse like "Your just faking it," or "Lose weight you look like a cow", I'm so sick and tired of being judged to the point of literally hating everything about me. I'm so tired of laying in bed for countless hours cutting through my skin while my family and friends lay soundly in bed. The part that really hurts the most is that nobody cares. No matter what i say and what I do nobody believes me. It's like my whole life I've only had me and nobody else has ever wanted to be there for me. Even though they see the cuts and the bruises they still think I'm just fine. And I'm not. I'm sorry for never being enough my whole life I just wanted to make you proud mom and dad... I'm sorry