To be honest, I think a lot of things for others around me would be better off without me. Since the beginning of my life tragedy has always been around me, and it hurt because I never really understood it. I would blame myself somehow even when I was a child, especially with religion in my life I felt like God was spiting me. I felt unwanted, unloved, and unnecessary to everything. I still struggle with this to this day and no one tries to continue to be compassionate or empathetic when I tell them each time because of how much it has affected me. I know they don’t, I can always tell when they’re tired of hearing it and it hurts a lot. Then I just stop talking about it, because I’m being annoying or some shit like that. I just honestly don’t even wanna be alive anymore because everyone does this, it leaves me with no one to rely on for when I need someone most. If there is a god out there, I genuinely think me being alive was a mistake.
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