I'm someone who doesn't like to worry people. I try to be a good friend, daughter, student, and overall a good person. I don't like to really bring attention to myself. For up to 4-5 years I've have been struggling with my mental health. Im not diagnosed at all because my parents don't like therapy or medication. Although I'm pretty sure I have something wrong with my brain. My extended family on both sides struggle with multiple addictions and mental illnesses. I feel like I could be having the best time, the worst time or just feeling numb (which is honestly the worst one). When I talked to one of my friends about it who goes to therapy they were like "That sounds like Bipolar." I didn't really know what it was until I looked it up and it was very similar to how I felt. I then found out my grandmother had bi polar depression. Honestly I don't know If i have mental illness or if I'm just getting into my head. All I want is for someone to tell me if I have a mental illness or if I don't have one so I can figure out how to deal with my shit. And also I continue to go back and forth between what I think my sexuality is. I definitely am attracted to guys and I think I'm attracted to girls. But with girls I'm confused if I just think they are pretty or if I would want to date them. It's all just a lil bit of a mess especially right now but I'm doing my best. I hope you are too. -From a girl that doesn't know if she's Bipolar, Bisexual, or both (or neither)
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I think that the first few sentences of your story say a lot about what a good person you are. I can tell that you are selfless, empathetic, and loving to the people around you. Everyone in your life is lucky to have someone like you. However, you need to take care of yourself, too. Personally, this is something I have had a hard time learning how to do. I often find myself getting absorbed into other people's problems and emotions, because helping others gives me an escape from dealing with my own thoughts and feelings. But you need to acknowledge your own thoughts and feelings, because they won't just go away. Your desire for a diagnosis is a good…
You took the first step in combatting mental illness by recognizing that there is a problem. That is often the hardest step. Additionally, you do not need to figure out your identity just yet. Although there is a lot of pressure for us to find a label, some of us are better without one. Go with what you feel most comfortable with.