Bipolar, bisexual or both, Anonymous (15)

I'm someone who doesn't like to worry people. I try to be a good friend, daughter, student, and overall a good person. I don't like to really bring attention to myself. For up to 4-5 years I've have been struggling with my mental health. Im not diagnosed at all because my parents don't like therapy or medication. Although I'm pretty sure I have something wrong with my brain. My extended family on both sides struggle with multiple addictions and mental illnesses. I feel like I could be having the best time, the worst time or just feeling numb (which is honestly the worst one). When I talked to one of my friends about it who goes to therapy they were like "That sounds like Bipolar." I didn't really know what it was until I looked it up and it was very similar to how I felt. I then found out my grandmother had bi polar depression. Honestly I don't know If i have mental illness or if I'm just getting into my head. All I want is for someone to tell me if I have a mental illness or if I don't have one so I can figure out how to deal with my shit. And also I continue to go back and forth between what I think my sexuality is. I definitely am attracted to guys and I think I'm attracted to girls. But with girls I'm confused if I just think they are pretty or if I would want to date them. It's all just a lil bit of a mess especially right now but I'm doing my best. I hope you are too. -From a girl that doesn't know if she's Bipolar, Bisexual, or both (or neither)