Body image, Anonymous (14)

Ever since 6th grade, I've had an unhealthy relationship with my body. I wake up every morning and like the way I look because of "morning skinny" but then I go eat breakfast and It all goes away. I've tried so many different tips and tricks but it is just so difficult for me to lose weight and maintain it. I also completely lose motivation at times and say to myself that I will just "do it tomorrow" (I never do). then I fall back into my old habits of eating crappy foods and the cycle starts all over again. I feel shitty about what I eat, I workout and do a bunch of weight loss secrets that are supposed to make you lose 10 pounds in a week, then I lose motivation and give up. I don't know how to keep motivation especially when I see all the beautiful girls on tik Tok. I look at them and then think that I can never be like them. it doesn't help that all my friends are super skinny and gorgeous, especially considering im the largest in my friend group. im not even fat, im in the skinny - medium range, it just feels so much worse when im with my friends because of how they look. sometimes I think it'll just be easier to not eat, but then I find myself binging at night because im hungry and bored. I always eat when im bored because I don't know what else to do. like for gods sake why can't I just look like olivia ponton. I hope you enjoyed the story of my body dysmorphia.