Depression, Anonymous (18)

Depression is something that I truly feel that everyone struggles with whether it’s diagnosed or not. I think a huge thing for me growing up was not knowing that that’s what it was. It was 3rd grade when all of it started and I just remember thinking there was something constantly wrong with me. I couldn’t figure out why I had such dark thoughts at such a young age. I couldn’t figure out why I would think about death or why I would think what it would be like to have a funeral. I stayed quiet with all of these feelings and all of it built up to an excessive amount. That is the worst thing you can do. Speak up and tell someone what you’re feeling. I couldn’t accept the fact that I was dealing with this and I was in denial. I thought that it wasn’t okay to feel this way but it is. I started cutting in the 5th grade and became very depressed and suicidal. I had so many feelings that I didn’t know what to do with and just shut down.