Hi, to anyone reading this. I hope your day is going somewhat well. In the past year or so my mental health struggles have increased immensely. It really is an ongoing battle with your mind. Depression and anxiety are such a scary things which is hard to explain if you haven't been in that position. You almost feel trapped and often spend days wondering if there will ever be a way out. I would never wish it on anyone. I often feel as though my feelings are invalid as I am defo in a more privileged situation than some. I have a good family, home, education, food and water. However, I still feel so so low. There are many many factors involved in this I am sure. (extreme Family arguments, anxiety about friendships, parents, my future, some childhood trauma etc.) I have never had people who check up on me, ask me how I am doing or most of my friends don't seem to care or usually shut me down and Its hard to talk to my family because they shouldn't have to worry about me anymore than they do. I do lay in bed and wonder when it all got to this point, because i too was once a little girl with huge hopes and dreams in her eyes and if I ever I get out of this, then this journey is super personal to me, because I have no one but myself to carry out of this dark place. This is what mental illnesses do to you. You feel alone but don't want company. You are kept awake a night from overthinking about everything. It is horrible. In the days of my deepest darkest thoughts the one thing that often kept me going was the hope I would possibly become a doctor one day and help save so many beautiful lives. This is my motivation. I could say so much more but I just want you to know that you are so NOT alone. you are so so loved by many people and will be in the future. We all have something great to look forward to one day, and I believe every one of us has a huge purpose in life, whether we can see it or not. Whats a day without a little night? Wish you all the best in whatever battle you may be overcoming, remember there is always some out there for you to talk to whether you know them or not, including me, please don't be afraid to drop a comment.
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