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Never what they seem, Anonymous (16)

At the time that this happened, I had been at one of my lows during my depression so I would skip school and smoke every day; so this person(M) took advantage of that. One day that I went over to M house we had a plan to leave and meet up with other people but obviously, this didn’t go as planned.  Instead, we stayed at M house and smoked. The whole time I assumed everything was fine nothing seemed off- besides when M would flirt with me. When we went into the stairs and smoked a little I felt paralyzed and I remembered what it felt like and I was scared but I didn’t want it to seem so. My eyes were closed but I could see and I felt weird inside. When I said I needed to get up M joked around and told me to do it myself that they wanted us to finish smoking but I knew something was wrong so I tried to think of how I would get up. After a while, M helped me up but was touching my butt and acted like it was to help me.  By the time we got downstairs, I thought I  drank something I would be ok but it didn’t help. I felt I had no control over my body and everything felt like a movie from the audience's view.  I wanted to shower at some point and kept my clothes on but he tried to take my clothes off- at that point, I was wary of the amount of power I knew M had at that moment.  When I left the bathroom I wanted to dance but my pants felt too tight so I asked M to untie it but he used his mouth and I started to feel the reality of what was going on. I started to panic and M realized that but acted like everything was ok- I guess they saw I wasn’t completely out of it so they didn’t want to try any further.  I left and that when the realization of it all hit me- snow and rain were falling and I dropped on the floor crying.  Although there were people outside they kept walking. Once again I felt weak. So I called someone I knew and I was out of it, babbling about everything until they got there I sat unable to understand anything- I felt so weird inside my body and I kept shaking.  By the time I got to the hospital, I found out I was laced and that M was trying to rape me.


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