To start off things, I have a lot of issues. Lots of trauma caused by the people most think aren’t capable of doing abuse. When I tell people about it or when I used to at least most would brush it off and it hurt a lot. Not only because they were disregarding the obvious amount of pain I was in, but also because they weren’t able to try to look at things from my perspective. It made me feel like I was being dramatic or crazy or too sensitive, basically blaming myself in every way possible and invalidate my own emotions. When I would talk to people about my emotions or about other really sensitive topics, after a while they would always show how they didn’t care anymore. I understand people don’t want to talk about the same stuff over again and being uncomfortable talking about those serious emotions, But these were people who I thought I didn’t need to worry about how many times I discussed a topic because I was still trying to process everything as well and I don’t have the same support most people have at home. But, they would always reject me, at some point. I still haven’t met someone who doesn’t in some way. It makes me feel like a burden to the relationship like I was putting to much stress on them for emotional support when I needed it most. I never wanted them to give me advice or anything like that, I just wanted someone to talk about the situations. To just sit and listen to me and let me express all my emotions. I still haven’t said anything about it to any of these people because I just don’t have the confidence. I don’t want to fight them about why they have hurt me or just see that they never cared to begin with and always felt pressured to be there. I just don’t know what to do, I’m lost, I’m lonely, and no one around me wants to listen.
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