Was it only me? Anonymous, (16)

In June of 2019 during the time the trains were shut down I got a ride from my aunt's husband- but there were many instances where I felt I was reading to much into things, that I might just be seeing things that weren’t there.  There would be moments when I could tell he was staring at me at times he shouldn’t have, or when he would touch me and choke me in ways you wouldn’t do to a niece.  With all that on my mind, I tried to relax and pretend it was all ok, but he wanted me to sit in the front seat, but I sat in the back with my younger sister (6 at the time). He would keep asking me about boyfriends and my clothes or how old I was even though he knew my age, he would make sure he kept up with my life and what I was doing.  By the time we got to my house, I got my little sister to sleep and he said he was gonna stay the night since it was too late; everyone was already asleep and I was too tired to wake anyone up. I went to sleep no worried because I closed the door hoping it would be an indication to stay out, but I woke up to little nibbles on my ear and kisses on my neck.  I felt so paralyzed I tried to pretend I was sleeping but he kept going until he stopped I don’t know what happened but the feeling of weakness and I had no control over my body. I couldn’t move for 30 minutes until I called my mother crying unable to talk and she called my brother telling him to come into my room to check on me.  I think the worst part about everything that happened was that my aunt didn’t believe that it happened or that I felt so powerless.  To this day I have panic attacks and fear to be outside alone.  I feel so small and he is still with my aunt without a care in the world because I kept his secret.

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