When I was in middle school I was very depressed and did not understand who I was at all. Then I met this girl. She took me into her world and I was amazed by how loved she was and how comfortable she was in her own skin. Eventually this girl told me she was bisexual and I started giving her relationship advice. Then after she had broken up with her recent fling her texts to me became flirty. At first I did not find the texts too weird because I’m pretty affectionate to my girl friends. Then the texts manifested into physical and she would put her hand on my thigh. It did not exactly feel right to me but I did not know who I was and she had given me everything. I had friends now. I had people who cared. So I figured I could play along and see if maybe I did feel that way. While she did give me attention, the way she talked to me when other people were there versus not was very different. I felt like a secret. There were lies and manipulation but I never expected it to end how it did. One day I was hanging out with her and her ex girlfriend because we were all still friends and her and her ex began to have sex infront of me. I completely froze. After that day my walls were up for good. I tried talking to some guys but somehow it always seemed like guys didn’t expect me to go for them. I always suspected the girl told people about us after it all went down. I felt as though my identity was decided for me and that she continued to make my life miserable even after she was long gone. Then in high school I met a boy who made my heart flutter. He loved me for me and accepted my past. He healed all she had broken and made me feel whole again. Now we have been dating for a couple years and I can’t imagine my life without him. People can and will hurt you throughout your life but you can’t let that hurt consume you. You have to move on.
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