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My struggle with homophobia while being homosexual, Anonymous (17)

Ever since I was a young kid I have had this innate hatred for gay people, but it's not what you think. I've known for a while that I might be gay, but if there was one thing I knew for sure is that I would hate to be gay. I hate everything about gay people from the way they dress, to the way they talk. But I do the same thing. I use the word "fag" and "faggot" almost 10 times a day, but I hate to be called it. I enjoy going to the Castro to make fun of all of the LGBTs, but on the way home, I listen to rex orange county and cry. I hate gay people, but I hate hating gay people more. Does anyone else feel this way? I just want to be loved and love. Can anyone offer some advice on how to stop my extreme and intense homophobic tendencies? #LGBTQBABCDA

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